I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
