remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize