i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
North Korea, Best Korea!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
