Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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