Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
