My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
