Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I wish there were birth control emojis
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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