she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
