people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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