booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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