they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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