How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize