I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
