Swine flu. Run for my life!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize