6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
