I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
