he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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