After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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