The maid of honor just puked.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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