just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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