sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize