if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
