I'm lost and stupid without you.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
