but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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