I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
