i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
