im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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