the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize