I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
