He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
