I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
