he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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