I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
