great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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