I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
