i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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