So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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