Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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