i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
