Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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