I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
