but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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