This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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