R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
