Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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