I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
