How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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