You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
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obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
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I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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