we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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