I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
