The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
