what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize