I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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