I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
