Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
