Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
