hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Enjoy the penises
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize