i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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