Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
