Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
