Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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