I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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