brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
