Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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