Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
