Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
